Transcribed, printed, and published to you live, this is InfoScrolls.com  .  .  .

The answer to 4E 175 is 1E 240  .  .  .

InfoScrolls.com, dismantling the Aldmeri globalist hegemony one manuscript at a time  .  .  .

InfoScrolls.com Troll Brain: alteration boosting daily supplement and poison preventative, "think like a troll, spank like a sload" .  .  .

Transcribed live from our Dragon-Breakproof bunker, this is InfoScrolls.com  .  .  .

This news ticker is hand-cranked by a proud Nord  .  .  .

InfoScrolls.com, the last line of defense against a shifting paradigm  .  .  .

The InfoScrolls.com Food Barrel: emergency provisions for the end of the kalpa, "don't be caught hungry when the world gets eaten"  .  .  .

Transcribed, printed, and published to you live, this is InfoScrolls.com  .  .  . The answer to 4E 175 is 1E 240  .  .  . InfoScrolls.com, dismantling the Aldmeri globalist hegemony one manuscript at a time  .  .  . InfoScrolls.com Troll Brain: alteration boosting daily supplement and poison preventative, "think like a troll, spank like a sload" .  .  . Transcribed live from our Dragon-Breakproof bunker, this is InfoScrolls.com  .  .  . This news ticker is hand-cranked by a proud Nord  .  .  . InfoScrolls.com, the last line of defense against a shifting paradigm  .  .  . The InfoScrolls.com Food Barrel: emergency provisions for the end of the kalpa, "don't be caught hungry when the world gets eaten"  .  .  .

News
InfoScrolls
Store
  • Hello and welcome to InfoScrolls.com, where we dismantle the Aldmeri globalist hegemony one hand-written manuscript at a time.

    As you know, ever since the Thalmor performed a ritualistic sacrifice and opened up a portal to the waters of Oblivion, our society has become possessed by evil Daedric entities. Bent on polluting the minds of our jarls and seducing the will of our sons, they poison our well water with Dreugh Wax and Elytra Ichor, casting illusions of frenzy and fear. That's why I recommend 'InfoScrolls.com Troll Brain: Alteration Boosting Daily Supplement and Poison Preventative.' Made with all natural ingredients and free of any alchemical impurities, it's proprietary blend of Nirnroot, Scrib Jelly, Sload Soap, and Troll Fat will improve your mental acuity, lower your reaction time, strengthen your erection, and help you build an immunity to the influences of extra-aethereal, mind-altering magic. 'InfoScrolls.com Troll Brain,' "Think like a Troll, Spank like a Sload." Visit InfoScrolls.com in order to purchase yourself a lifetime supply today.

    This statement has not been evaluated by the Tome and Potion Authority. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

  • Hello and welcome to another edition of InfoScrolls.com, the last line of defense against a shifting paradigm.

    If you're a longtime reader of this publication, then you know that we've been under attack for quite some time. Ever since the illusion-wielding cabal of polymorphic Argonians had us banned from the printing press, we've had to resort to transcribing and distributing each individual edition by hand. In that period time I've had 4 paper cuts, and 5 couriers have gone missing. That's why in order to fund our continued operations I'm selling the 'InfoScrolls.com Food Barrel: Emergency Provisions for the End of the Kalpa.'

    What will you do when Alduin returns to ignite Nirn? Protect you and your loved ones from the coming firestorm with our densely packed barrels of protein. Using our patented 'InfoScrolls.com Protein Pounder,' we're able to pack 5000% more protein into each barrel versus that of our competitors. Sandwiching layers of meat between blankets of salt, we use a large cylindrical stone to compress the contents of each barrel down into a new form of matter, leaving it completely untouched by alteration magic and free of Daedric influence. The resulting material is a substance denser than gold, and 50 times as nutritious.

    Stay full for longer, nibble on one little crumb from within this barrel and you'll feel like you swallowed a mouthful of rocks. In fact, the last time I ate was from my 'InfoScrolls.com Food Barrel,' and that was 9 days ago. Since then I've been unable to keep anything down. My body is saturated with so many nutrients, that it's rejecting the need for any other food. The 'InfoScrolls.com Food Barrel,' "Don't be caught hungry when the world gets eaten." Visit InfoScrolls.com in order to purchase yourself a lifetime supply today.

    WARNING: This product contains an ingredient that is not recommended for human consumption by the appropriate authority in High Rock, Hammerfell, Cyrodiil, or Summerset Isle.

  • Hello and welcome to an emergency transcription of InfoScrolls.com, the answer to 4E 175 is 1E 240.

    We here at the 'Dragon Break-Proof Bunker' have just received urgent news via courier: "At approximately the break of dawn, outside of the Kilkreath Ruins, West of Solitude, the once dormant Statue of Meridia suddenly awaken, conjuring an Electromeridian Field of unquantifiable tonality, which irradiated upward toward the sky."

    To my longtime readers, this is what we've been preparing for. To those of you not in the know, I'll fill you in. For years, the Empire has been secretly tainting Solitudes supply of Spiced Wine with untraceable amounts of an alchemical extract. Known as 'Project VKUltra,' when consumed, the extract is circulated throughout the body and trace amounts excreted by the pores. Capable of dermal absorption, the extract then spreads throughout society by means of skin to skin contact. Since the start of the project, the citizens of Skyrim have been unwittingly used as a transmission vector to propagate this substance across her holds, slowly infecting every major pocket of Nordic civilization. Once infected, the extract lay dormant within the host, waiting for its activation signal in the form of an Electromeridian Field. With it's ability to penetrate the blood-brain barrier, once activated, the vibrating tonal energies of the EMF transmission cause the extract within ones brain to hum with whispers of lies and deceit.

    Now, with the boarders closed and the population contained, the Empire looks to end the civil war by conjuring mass fury and turning brother against brother. That's why I'm calling on all InfoScribes to purchase their very own 'InfoScrolls.com EMF Amulet: Shock Dampening Immunopotentiator and Werewolf Repeller.' Using a method where we re-solidify liquid colloidal silver back into solid form, this amulet is imbued with natural properties which allow it to generate tonal harmonics and completely neutralize EMF transmissions. No longer will you and your loved ones be under the threat of Empiric mind-control, because with every individual purchase of an 'InfoScrolls.com EMF Amulet,' we will be including a 2nd amulet completely free. But wait, there's more! Order by courier in the next 3 days and we'll not only knock 30% off the original asking price, but throw in a 3rd amulet for free as well! The 'InfoScrolls.com EMF Amulet,' "A peace of mind for a piece of mind." Write to InfoScrolls.com and purchase yourself an amulet today.